I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
This toilet bowl is my home.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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