Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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