THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
