Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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