it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
