The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
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I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
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Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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