I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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