I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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