How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
