no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize