only you would photoshop your dick
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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