i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
