I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
