You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
