All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
