Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
