i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
