Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
