i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
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Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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