If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
