take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
operation have a gay friend backfired
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
