just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize