my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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