Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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