well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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