all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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