How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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