he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
