I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
