I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
