we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
