3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
