oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
