its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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