Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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