I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
