there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
