do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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