You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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