Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
