I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
