dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
