My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
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