i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
