I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
