I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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