every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
