he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
