don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
