YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
