hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
