On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
