I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
