she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
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At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
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He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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