i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
