6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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