I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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