we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
