those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
