It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
