That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize