who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
